How to show the report card to Dad... Funny story.

Letter to a DAD

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.

then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed.

it was addressed, "dad".
with the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:

dear dad,
it is with great regret and sorrow that i'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because i wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.
i've been finding real passion with barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.

but it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and barbara said that we will be very happy.

even though you don't care for her as she is much older than i, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter.

she wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of
my dreams too.

barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

in the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for aids so barbara can get better; she sure deserves it!!

don't worry dad, i'm 15 years old now and i know how to take care of myself.

someday i'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.

your son,
john

p.s. dad, none of this is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card. That's in my desk center drawer. I love you!

call when it's safe for me to come home.
:)
---------------------------------------------------

Dont lie to ur mother

Mrs. Smith had always suspected her son, Mike, was having an intimate relationship with his roommate, Jennifer.
One night, Mike invites his mother over for dinner. All thru the night, Mrs. Smith watched Mike and Jennifer interact, and was pretty sure there was more than met the eye. Mike saw his mother watching them and assured her that they were just roommates.
A few nights later, Jennifer went to Mike with a problem.
"Ever since your mother was here for dinner, I have been unable to find the gravy ladle. Do you think she took it?"
Mike replied, "I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her and ask her anyway."
Mike sat down at the computer and composed the following e-mail:

Dearest Mother,
I'm not saying you did take the gravy ladle, and I'm not saying you did not take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains, since you were here for dinner, we have been unable to find the ladle.
Love always,
Mike

Two days later, Mike received the following reply from his mother:

Dearest Michael,
I'm not saying you do sleep with Jennifer, and I'm not saying you do not sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains, had Jennifer been sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now.
Love,
Mother

Moral of the story: Don't lie to your mother!

----------------------------------------------------------

:)
Ha Ha Ha. Hope you enjoyed this one...
Paramesh.